So you’re sitting in the cinema, popcorn in hand – soft drink in the other and your waiting for the movie to start, but of course this is Malaysia – so regardless if you paid RM11 for your ticket, your still forced required to watch the advertisements one after another for about 15 or more minutes before the movie starts. It’s something we’ve gotta get used too, it’s almost as though we actually paid to see these advertisements. I’m cool with a few commercials before a movie – after all where else can we promote a Heineken’s latest sing-along tune if not for a dark pitch black cinema theatre? (I enjoy watching those beer commercials by the way – I actually think their pretty creative).

Sadly, there are also moments when an ad plays and it’s so bad that it makes you want to cringe – especially when it turns out to be locally produced. You almost try to look away from the screen because you feel bad for the actors, but you still stare and watch – because your Malaysian anyway, and even if there’s a severed headless body lying on the middle of the road caused by some gruesome accident and the police and paramedics are fully aware of the situation – you will still slow down your vehicle just to have a peek. It’s in our blood.

One commercial that’s been playing non-stop in our local cinemas for a few months now that drives me crazy to no end has to be the dreaded Spritzer – First Love commercial. I can’t begin to tell you how bad this commercial is. Words can’t truly describe the puke reaction and anti-Gandhi sentiments that this minute long commercial produces. It’s almost as though they simply play this commercial to make us feel bad for buying a large coke with our popcorn.

I’m just itching to know which media advertising firm actually developed this poor piece of crap. There is completely no storyline here regardless of what the genius who wrote this almost non-existent script would tell you. It hand’s down wins for Worst Commercial of the Year and takes no prisoners.

The acting is horrible; enough to even rival some of those fully dubbed L’Oreal commercials where the model doesn’t speak a word of English but has an American accent dubbed over her voice. This commercial is so bad, it should actually be banned, everyone involved in its development should be placed under the ISA – because that’s the best place to put someone when you don’t really have a real motive to convict them with. Please also place the writer under tight security – we can’t have him writing any more bad scripts and secretly sending them out to our TV stations – I think he’s behind those damned Tongkat Ali commercials as well.

I’m still wondering, why in the blue hell does the kid actually say “This is MINE!” when it’s apparent that there are plenty of other Spritzer bottles in the fridge behind him. Is there something I’m not getting here? Anyway just for your amusement here’s a brief overview of the script you’ll see in the video above. Just for kicks, then next time you buy yourself a Spritzer bottle, look at the Anna or Taukeh at the Kedai Runcit and say “This is MINE!” with a nut job look on your face.

Script

(Corny reject boy band music plays silently in the background)

*Girls pushes trolley along what appears to be the mineral water section in a supermarket.

Girls narration: It’s you! How could I forget you?

(Flashback to a group of two kids. One Chinese boy opens a bottle of  Spritzer’s mineral water with a “I’m up to no good look” on his face, while a little girl rides on one of those little pony rides where you put in a RM1 coin to keep your kid quiet for a minute. She stares at the little boy giving him a “get your own Pony look”. Boy sips a drink from the bottle, throws the green bottle cap in the air. Bottle cap stays in the air and gives a cheap 3D rotational spin while magically still being suspended in the air)

Girls narration: My life has changed after seeing you for the first time, you gave me the best in life, you’re my inspiration.

(Back to the supermarket scene – girl spots the boy – now grown up, also at the mineral water section and wheels her trolley near him)

Girls narration: You have grown up – and you are still charming – and even better!

(Girls inches close to the grown up boy – and whispers with a slutty look on her face “This time it’s mine”)

(Flashback to the young boy and girl again, boy walks towards the little and says “This is MINE!” (Not in the same tone as King Leonidas but in a “Please punch me” look).

(Bottle Cap has enough of cheap 3D spin and decides to fall on poor little girls head – fade in white to the Spritzer logo.)

The End.

Got an SMS today morning and learnt that Tun Dr Mahathir is giving us a chance to vote on his blog (http://chedet.co.cc) on whether we the people of Malaysia would prefer to have Science and Mathematics taught in English, or if we would prefer to move backwards, and vote for the subjects to be taught in Bahasa Malaysia (BM) instead.

I’m not the most political person, nor do I like to blog about anything political, but this is about the future of our education system in our country and I believe every Malaysian regardless of their political affiliations should have their say. Whether you’re a supporter of BN, Pas, DAP or KeAdilan – if you feel that these subjects being taught in English will benefit the future of our young one’s then you should put away your admirations for your individual parties and vote without prejudice.

If the number of votes is in our favor, Dr M himself will represent the people to fight for these subjects to be taught in the English medium, whereas if the votes are against us – Dr M will have no say, Science and Maths will be taught in BM from 2012 onwards and it will truly be a dark day for the education system in Malaysia.

It doesn’t take a genius to see why we need these subjects to be taught in English. I remember the first time I stepped out of secondary school and went on to college, I struggled at Discrete Maths, it was difficult to come to terms with many of the new translations, and formula’s – and if it was tough for someone like me, who speaks the English language fluently on a daily basis, I can only imagine how difficult it would be for those that had a lesser command of the language.

Like all good habits, the teaching of these subjects in English has to start at an early stage to mould the kids of the future and prepare them for the bigger stage. We need to think big and not just stay in our comfort zone. As much as I love the Malay language and treasure it, I’m smart enough to know of it’s limitations. Let’s not be oblivious to the international education standards of the world. For those who claim that the decision to teach in BM was a right step in the form of nationalism, I strongly disagree, there are hundreds of other ways to show the world that your proud to be Malaysian, holding on to this selfish mindset and false sense of nationalism is not one of them.

There are bound to be challenges and hiccups along the way, but it’s not an impossible plan and if we are truly Malaysian, we should not let our initial glitches get in the way of a bigger, bolder dream.

So let’s take this step to make an impact, it’s not too late yet, with the right number of votes we can still give the future generation a fighting chance. Head down to http://chedet.co.cc and do the right thing!

Just yesterday while preparing for an opening ceremony of our clubs inaugural sporting event; we were informed that the band would be playing Michael Jackson’s Black or White as one of the covers for their first set. The idea was quickly met with criticism, mainly because many felt it wasn’t a suitable song for an athletic event such as the one we we’re hosting – I was one of those who objected the idea, the song was replaced with a more up-tempo rock ballad which went fine with the audience. If only I had known that the King of Pop today would be busting up dance moves with Elvis Presley and smoking the freshest homegrown up above – I would have surely changed my mind.

I’ve always been a huge fan of MJ, I might not have been the most vocal or crazed supporter of the controversial singer but I’ve always and will always be a fan of his music, and his ability to provide some of the best entertainment on (and off) stage.

I remember going to a Michael Jackson’s History concert way back in 1996 at Merdeka Stadium, Kuala Lumpur. Even before the event was confirmed, the arrival of the gloved one was marked with objection , especially from over religious groups who claimed Michael’s crotch grabbing moves and his unique ability to cause a mass hysteria (even larger than the one’s witnessed in government schools before an examination date) would have adverse effects on the youth of today.

Yet somehow, our then Prime Minister, Dr M must have certainly owned a couple of copies of Thriller and Off The Wall because the concert was approved.

I’ve been to my share of concerts after the MJ gig of course, but I must admit then when it comes to providing the full package entertainment value from start to finish – nobody comes close to Michael Jackson. From the grand entrance of a bullet-shaped spaceship crashing into the stadium, to a staged explosion and the ability to bring a huge tanker right up to the front of the stage – nobody does it like MJ. Take my word for it – you haven’t been to a concert until you’ve been to a MJ concert. Did I mention the breathtaking dance moves and the quick change of wardrobe? (Enough to rival some of today’s biggest Diva’s).

However like all big stars, MJ’s life was riddled with controversy, scandals and plastic surgery. Just as much as everyone loves to see a hero win, the world sadistically also loves to see a beloved hero fall – especially the Hollywood tabloids. MJ has always been honest about his bad childhood, from abuse to being forced to perform in front of large crowds at such a young age. It’s no doubt that such emotional trauma and the stress of being required to hold up this public image day and night to huge crowds took its toll on him and hence we entered the era of Wacko Jacko as the media soon referred to him. He was a tabloids best dream, a living freak to some – the black man who turned white, the man with the plastic nose, the best babysitter in the world. Articles of MJ sold more copies in the newsstands than a Harry Potter book from J.K Rowling (not based on actual figures).

Strong supporters of MJ stood by his side, while some of his closest friends manipulated their power to get the most out of his wealth. There are tons of accusations against MJ, in-fact if we waited a little longer I’m pretty sure that space chimp he’s so fond off would have lodged a law suit as well, but unfortunately we will never truly be able to tell if it’s based on fact or fiction. After all if you had a screwed up childhood, was forced to sing your ABC songs in front of a huge television audience and your earliest pet was a Rat named Ben – I doubt you would have the ability nor guts to turn into one of the biggest icons in music history today (take that haters).

It’s just a pity that the youth of today will probably never truly learn to appreciate the genius that is Michael Jackson – like the time I heard a teenager calling up a local radio station to request for Fall Out Boys “Beat It” – and when the radio deejay asked him if he knew the original singer of the song, he said “Fall Out Boy la!”.

The worst bit was when the radio deejay told him that the song was originally sung by the king of pop; MJ – the kid started laughing – like it was the biggest joke he had ever heard in his poor little pubescent life.

So the next time you listen and swoon over Justin Timberlake’s new music video, or wonder why Neyo keeps wearing that funny little top hat just appreciate the fact that most of today’s pop singers were in one way or another influenced by Michael Jackson – and for many of us he will truly and forever be the one and only King of Pop.

Suddenly, this unknown Canadian-Indian became a web sensation overnight; your friends and co-workers would quote his every line, mere mention of the names !Xobile and Tap Sum Bong would send you in a fit of giggles and you biggest threat-call became “Somebody’s gonna hurt a-real bad!”. Peter’s gave us a reason to look at our racial stereotypes in a more entertaining and less radical light. While most international comedians always played it safe by border lining on the race card, Russell Peter’s played an almost remarkable balancing act and related to a new generation of young Asian’s around the world.

Evidently, being a huge fan of Russell, I was excited to hear of the release of his latest DVD – “Red, White and Brown” recorded live at the WAMU Theatre in Madison Square Garden. The 78-Minute disc boasted all-new material which was promising considering that one of the major complaints by his critics was the repeated use of the same material (a similar plight shared by many of today’s stand-up comedians unfortunately), so with my fingers crossed – I prepared myself for over an hour of laughter, however after the final credits of the DVD started rolling, I realized that the entire performance and the material – was nothing short of a major let down.

As one of the world’s leading stand-up comedians of our time, there’s a certain quality that comes with the designation. Peter’s has never had a problem with presentation – but when the quality of the routine presented is nothing short of 3rd grade dingy-comedy-club material, even the best presentation will not do it any justice and so in lies the case of this disappointing DVD.
Instead of his usual quirky observations on Asian cultures, hilarious accents and audience interactions – Peter’s has replaced his winning formula with an overdose of crude and often degrading sexual jokes, toilet humor (literally) and taunting audience members – don’t get me wrong, I think it’s acceptable to push the envelope a little in terms of censorship when it comes to a live show but there is a limit – and unfortunately Peter’s has trampled all over it in his latest release.

Could the rise to fame have anything to do with Peter’s lack of interesting material? Hopefully he isn’t just banking on his name to sell out shows. I’m not giving up hope on Peter’s just yet however – preferring instead to erase this disastrous performance from my memory. There are many reason’s why Peter’s will be remembered years from today as one of the greatest Indian stand-up comedian’s – “Red, White and Brown” sadly isn’t one of them.

There’s always a love/hate relationship that comes to mind when defining a city – especially one like Kuala Lumpur. No city is complete without its fair share of absurd traffic jams, huge way-oversized malls and high-rise buildings. KL might be a little back forward when compared to some of the largest cities in the world in many aspects (like transportation for example) but surprisingly plays host to a very liberal and active arts scene as I first discovered upon moving here. It might not be as vast and visible as countries like Australia but with a little effort you’ll be able to dig out the latest performances and acts to hit center stage.

KLUE Magazine for example, which is published on a monthly basis, will provide you with some of the latest gigs, performances, and theatre acts. For you cost conscious peeps you’ll also be able to view upcoming events at www.klue.com.my. Other notable website worth bookmaking are www.kakiseni.com and http://www.theactorsstudio.com.my

One thing sorely lacking in the arts scene however is the availability of proper platforms for performers and actors alike. Actor’s Studio Bangsar is a decent enough venue for most events – with a modest sized stage, proper seating and is pretty well maintained, however it’s just isn’t equipped for big events. One of my favorite venues has to be KLPac, which is truly the best art theatre in the country. The building itself is quite an interesting sight to behold – well decorated and classy, and yet surprisingly well equipped with latest equipment and facilities.

Funding seems to be a major problem when it comes to the art’s scene in Malaysia, there’s very little aid from the government to push the art’s scene further (especially the English art’s scene), which is sad considering the amount of talent in the country. Somehow the word “seni” is interpreted very differently from the word “arts” by the government.

Generally, the Asian mind-sets have to evolve to accept arts as a form of entertainment. People generally associate anything with the art scene to be typically boring stuff more suited for upper-class socially conscious brats and this is major misconception. Everyone has their fair choice of genre or preference – for example, I’m a big fan of comedy, stand-ups acts as well as orchestra performances and less of a soap opera or drama fan – hence I naturally prefer attending events more suited to my interest.

There are of course other benefits of attending a live stage performance besides just entertainment value and that natural high feeling of being part of a live show. As I’ve come to notice. In a country like Malaysia, where censorship rains supreme, the local art’s scene provides escapism from the red lines and boldly traverses on daring topics, social ills and prejudice without the restrictions of our national television and film. I’ve been to shows where insults we’re made openly to famous politicians and factions of the government (in an amusing light of course) and thankfully none of them have ended up in ISA – just yet.  Definitely a refreshing experience from the “Umum” nonsense we’re used to on TV and Radio.

So the next time you’re wondering what to do on a lazy weekend, ditch aside your plans for clubbing or catching movie at the cinema and take a sway from the norm by supporting your local arts scene.

When I told my dad that I didn’t want to go to English College, one of the city’s best boy schools at the time, he was pretty angry for a reasonable reason. I had after all studied in STAR, which was one of the city’s best all-boy primary school and a first class entry ticket to EC. My parents had to register me for STAR when I was barely 5 years old – it might seem a bit absurd to register someone at that young, but thats how long the waiting list actually was.

I don’t have any regrets about studying in STAR, I had a great time there and had great memories – the lack of the female species never really mattered to a young boy who hadn’t even reached puberty, but after my standard 6 final examinations we’re done, I made the choice that I wasn’t going to spend the next 5 years of my life in a school filled with sausages. Somehow I couldn’t find a way to tell my dad about my plans not to fore goo the legacy and study in EC – he had it all planned to a T – I presumed. How was he to know that his son would turn out to be a rebellious teenager in the time to come?

I can’t recall the details to the quarrel, but I’m pretty sure it involved a few scenes and some wrestling moves courtesy of my dad to me but I was as stubborn as an Ox on the matter. Each time he told me that I was to study in “prick ville” ( or EC as it’s commonly known) the more I hated the school. I could understand his disappointment as almost all of my cousins had gone to EC and I was suppose to uphold this unwritten family tradition – but I didn’t want to be like them.

Each time I though of EC, I envisioned some geeky kid with thick specks, pants pulled up to his naval, belt and tie, clean white shoes and a evil smile spawn across his face. Once known for it’s top academic record holders, the EC of today is filled with rich-brats who can’t score an A to save their own lives, it has become a big lard of political connections and has lost its purpose like many premier schools in Malaysia. Basically many premier schools in the country will accept any dumb ass brat to their institution as long as their parents are doctors, engineers, or lawyers – and if you don’t have the occupation, you better open up your pockets when the school decides to built one of those over-hyped poorly designed halls.

After weeks of consideration my dad enlisted me to SAB. I remembered the look on the headmasters face when I enrolled – “you wan’t to transfer here from EC?” – “You sure?”

He inquired as to why; if I had an uncle who was a teacher here or something, something that could explain why any self respected individual would give up EC for a shambled school like SAB? He needed an answer to allow him to sleep at night and mine was direct – personal choice and pure hatred for politically corrupted schools, then of course there was the girls….

Malaysian public schools had always been a thriving ground for gangsterism and SAB was no different. The year 1998 was a bad year for all schools due to the rise of notorious gang clans who we’re known to recruit young school kids for their biddings in return for protection. I can’t speak for other schools as I wasn’t there, but I can dare well say that SAB and SSI ( a neighbor school of SAB) at that time had fights going on almost every day of the week. Both schools we’re neck to neck rivals. Fights we’re normally carried out in a nearby recreational park (which is ironically a big wasteland now) called Hutan Bandar. No race nor religion was spared, whether you we’re Malay, Chinese or Indian – any day could be your day. Every assembly we heard reports of students being admitted in hospitals, students getting killed in gang fights or hurt so bad that they became unrecognized. Tension levels we’re high in those days. It’s sickening to think how a place of knowledge can inspire so much fear in a student.

As much as I loved the school and my friends, I felt that the faculty wasn’t doing enough to protect us students from the bad guys. The straw that broke the camels back came when one of my favorite teachers, a young Chinese gentleman by the name of Mr Q was ganged up and hit by a group of students right inside the school! As a prefect witnessing the incident, I agreed readily to testify to as a witness of the assault to the school authorities along with a few of my other friends – but we we’re in return told to hush up the whole thing to protect the schools reputation. I argued that if things like this continued without action – the schools reputation would be in shambles anyway. They didn’t seem to see things my way.

Somewhere the end of 1999, I decided that I had enough with the school. I was looking for a way out but didn’t seem to find any valid reason to shift, however a glimmer of hope came my way when my parents decided to purchase a house in a new location afar from the city called Taman Daya, as traveling through and fro from school to Daya was exhausting (the journey was about 1 and half hours on a school bus each day) I decided to start my Form 3 in the neighborhood school instead, the school was called SMK Taman Daya and I’m glad to say that shifting from SAB to Daya was one of the best decisions I had made in my life and the start of a very exciting teen hood.

I’ve got a confession to make. I’m a left handed living a right handed world. I’ve been wronged, prejudiced upon and misunderstood. After 22 years of silent screams, I will know unleash my useless rant upon the blogging community and soon – the world.

It started out in a Indian family dinner, when everyone was eating with their hands – I’m not particularly good with eating with my hands, but unfortunately someone forgot to order the fork and spoons for this dinner (the evil bastards) and so I was forced to try to use my hands to scope up the rice from an already slippery banana leaf and just for fun – they added curry. It was at this very moment that one of my relatives turned over, looked at the choice of hand I had chosen to use to eat and commented: “why are you using your left hand to eat? “

“Because i’m left-handed” I replied. Hoping that it would be the end of of a promisingly stupid conversation that will be filled with questions I have answered many many times before. Although having a fork and spoon presumably makes it easier for us lefties, it isn’t a walk in the park either as the instrument was designed and crafted for right handers, switch the hand which holds to fork to the spoon and vice versa and you’ve solved your problem – but don’t expect to be getting any appraises from the Brits regarding your dining ethics.

It wasn’t just at family functions that this abnormality plagued me. School was another taunting ground for the curious and the dumb, as you took down notes diligently with your left hand, you’re table buddy stares blankly at your talented hand for what he considers a feat before asking the inevitable “Bro you’re writing with your left hand…”he say’s almost innocently – like it was a mistake. God cant count the number of times I had wanted to say “Whoops – thanks for reminding me” and switch the pen to my right hand but not before thanking Mr Right Handed for pointing out our left handed mistakes.

When I started progressing through secondary school, I was required to use a certain tool or should I say stationary that would become one of the greatest enemies of lefties all over the world. I’m talking of course about the dreaded….

HIGHLIGHTER!!!

It’s impossible to highlight your notes in a classy manner with this cruel tool designed I believe to inflict self-shame on lefties worldwide, then of course some smart ass colleges only have right handed tables – don’t know what I’m talking about? Take a look…

But the highlighter and righty table isn’t alone, I’m taking this war out on the vending machines with right handed coin clots, the right handed car ignitions, the way my crayola crayon is spelt ”aloyarc” when I hold it – I’m making a stand against right handed zips on pants! No longer will left handed items be just cheap novelty objects found in Joke shops – I quote DiGi when I say “The time for change has come!” – Stand up lefties and raise your fist.

You’re left fist that is!

Is Old Town Coffee the new Starbucks? I sure hope so. I for one have never really liked Starbucks, I’m not saying I don’t like the enviroment, lush comfortable sofa’s, beverages with un-pronouncable names and cheapskate laptop user’s who hog on free internet access. Call me your average middle class bloke but I just don’t feel like paying RM19.85 for a beverage. It’s no secret that I would prefer the teh-tarik at a Mamak stall then a “frappocinwatumightcallIT” at Starbucks. In fact it’s a wise idea to stay away from food outlets with any reference to money in their name. In retrospect however, we have to admit that the enviroment at Mamak stalls can’t be compared to the comfort at cut-throat places like Starbucks (how many times am I saying Starbucks?). I mean imagine asking a girl out for a drink to the mamak stall on the first date? Unless of course you’re going out with Ugly Betty, don’t expect to get a callback from her – ever. So what we need is a place that serves drinks at reasonable prices and offers the luxury of that other coffee place.

Sound’s impossible? Not to Old Town Coffee – it doesn’t. OTC is catching on and becoming Starbucks biggest pain in the cohots. Do they serve a magnitude of beverages? Yes. Is the enviroment comfortable and classy? Yes. Are the prices reasonable. Yes. Do they have WiFi. Yes. Is the Sky Blue? Yes.

Originating from the humble town of Ipoh, Old Town has grown with the times and expanded into a multi-branch franchise that has expanded all over Malaysia. The menu has gone from just serving “kopitiam deliciaes” to catering to local cuisines such as Chicken Rendang, Chicken Curry and even Nasi Lemak. The premises are clean and tidy, the waiters are well dressed and the food arrives pretty fast – a plus point for those on a time limit. The outlet at Cyberjaya for instance open’s 24 / 7 and also telecast free football matches – what more can you ask for? With good service, affordability and facilities – it’s a mere matter of time before Old Town drowns the competion altogether.

Barelly a year living in Kuala Lumpur (or Petaling Jaya if your’e the politically correct type) and I’m moving. I’ll be leaving Kelana Puteri and moving in to Kelana D’Putra which is technically right opposite Puteri. It’s a pity, I’ve just gotten use to the large amount of foreginers scattering around the area, the bad service at the diner downstairs, the under stocked grocery shop with the weird chinese lady and her english speaking Indonesian maid, the ex-convict looking Nepalese security guards and the psychotic next door neighbour who shouts at the top of her lungs at every stroke of midnight.

We’re moving because of a bad bed bug problem, a really bad one at that. The canniving owner rented the apartment to us without informing us that the place was a breeding ground for an insect that I believed was as extinct as the T-Rex. We had been putting up with the little bastards for months until everything got out of hand when it started affecting our sleep, I woke up one night and found close to about 100 over of these little creatures swarming below the sheet of my bedsheet, it felt like a scene from a low-budget horror movie – suffice to say I threw my newly bought less then a year old RM300 mattress away the next day. The land lord refused to pay for pest control, and we told her in polite terms that she could keep her bed bug infested farm to herself – we we’re moving out.

There’s a lot of pain involved from moving to a new place, and i’m not just talking about the backpain from carrying the heavy furniture. Here-in comes the benefit of having a six member family, we managed to get everything set up within a week, from the electricity, household items, furniture and plumbing. Special thanks goes out to my parents who took time off to come up and help us set up everything – we couldnt have done it without you!

They say that somethings in life happens for the better, and I couldnt agree more in the case of our new apartment. It’s beautiful and i’m in love with it, from the hall, the dining and right through to the bathrooms – the place is so much more better than bed bug villa. Our neighbours seem very quiet too, which is a welcome from the noise prone units at Kelana Puteri. Now it’s just a matter of calling the new apartment – our new home.

I love mamak stalls. If there’s one place the teh-tarik gang and I would hang out after a hard weeks work, it would be at our favorite mamak stall on a Friday night. Mamak stalls have become part of Malaysian culture. Just visit your local mamak stall and you’ll find the “muhibah” concept at it’s best. All kinds of people of different race and age visit Mamak stalls for affordable meals at un-beatable prices. The stall’s themselves have gone on to become massive restaurants – often having various branches. It’s not uncommon now day’s for mamak stalls to have big screen tv’s or projectors and provide WiFi access – heck many of the mamak stall’s today even serve western food!

The mamak stall’s in JB we’re no different, operations we’re normally carried out on 24 hour basis making it the perfect place for a drunk clubber to sober up before facing the long drive home. I’m glad to say that the mamak’s in KL are no different – offering an overall good service, however there is a thorn that’s giving a bad name to all mamak stalls out there – I’m talking of course about the dreaded mamak stalls in Cyberjaya. (suspense music plays)

To say that the Mamak’s in Cyberjaya offer poor service is an overstatement, the service is horrible. It’s enough to put you off mamak food forever, to shudder at every mamak stall you see – to turn you into a vegetarian! (not exactly a bad thing). There are about four mamak stalls in Cyberjaya, and every single one of them aims to compete with one-another to provide you with the worst service ever. 

You might be wondering exactly how I know that these stalls suck as much Paris Hilton (double meaning) it’s easy really – I work in Cyberjaya, and since I’m not privileged to eat at Secret Recipe and the Food Courts don’t cater to work schedules  of shifters- I’m forced (like it or starve) to eat at these mamaks. Let me give you a break down on the mamak stalls in-case you decide to give Cyberjaya a visit anytime soon:

Hassan’s Mamak:The service at Hassan’s is not that bad, waiters do come over to get your order and the food doesn’t take to long to arrive – the bad part? Hassan’s has one of the worst prices for mamak food ever and yes – they charge government tax! (wtf right?).  If you enjoy paying RM2.20 for your Milo Ais then Hassan’s is the place for you.

Tip: I tried this and it works! To get a cheaper cup of Milo Ais at Hassan’s just order Milo Tarik (RM1.30) one it has arrived, ask for “Cawan filled with Ais-Kosong” (RM0.30) then just pour your milo into the cup and tadaa – Milo Ais for just RM1.60 – now that’s a saving for RM0.60. (Also applies for Teh Ais) .

MMU Mamak(I forgot the name) – This mamak is located just opposite MMU and is practically filled with foreign students from MMU and Lim Kok Wing. It’s very busy at night and parking is a nightmare. This mamak by far offers the worst service in terms of food delivery – and food. They have a menu filled with over 30 choices in reality only offers 5. Every time I order a god-damn burger it takes them almost 1 hour (I kid you not!) to bring it. The mamak’s also try to avoid eye contact when you’re trying to wave them to make an order. Price is ok but don’t visit this place unless the two other mamak’s are closed or you have a thing for watching foreign students.

Rahim’s Mamak:Funny enough, this mamak closes at 12midnight – heck isn’t that the time most mamaks should be opening for good business? Go figure. The mamak’s at Rahim take equally as long to bring you the food you ordered – and  there’s a 50/50 chance – they’ll get the order screwed up. (Proof in point: I ordered Nasi Goreng, Tak nak sayur and tak nak pedas and I got Nasi Goreng, Tambah Sayur and Tambah Pedas).

Colorful Building Mamak (a.k.a Lego Building Mamak)- This mamak opens till 6pm from morning onwards and provides a kind of food court / mamak stall service. Service is not a problem as there is no waiter service – you order your food and wait till it’s in your hand, food taste was pretty good but then I realized that it had a frequent unwelcome guess – cockroaches! Not the big bad beetleborgs type but the small ones you find in your nasi briyani – whoops i’ve said to much.

So with so much bad service from these shame-full mamaks why are they still thriving in business? Simple answer: We need them and they know it. Good food outlets are as hard to find as a honest Datuk in Cyberjaya. Somehow, no one has managed to get a license to open a McD or KFC in this area (i’m guessing there must be a really stupid reason as to why) so the working folks and students alike have no where else to turn too but these mamaks. Try putting any one of these stalls in the middle of Bangsar and they’ll be closed down in a week.

I don’t have a problem with mamak’s in general, just those that are in Cyberjaya. I understand that you can’t expect a 5-star service from these places, but that doesn’t mean that the service has to be bad either, if their counterparts at KL and PJ are able to do it, why can’t they? I understand and respect that many mamak’s are fast and efficient and friendly. They work long hours, and learn to pick up the Malay language in a faster time then it will take a Peralihan kid too.

Let’s just hope and pray till the day Ronald McDonald and Colonel Sanders decides to save us all…