I Got It From My Mamak…

I love mamak stalls. If there’s one place the teh-tarik gang and I would hang out after a hard weeks work, it would be at our favorite mamak stall on a Friday night. Mamak stalls have become part of Malaysian culture. Just visit your local mamak stall and you’ll find the “muhibah” concept at it’s best. All kinds of people of different race and age visit Mamak stalls for affordable meals at un-beatable prices. The stall’s themselves have gone on to become massive restaurants – often having various branches. It’s not uncommon now day’s for mamak stalls to have big screen tv’s or projectors and provide WiFi access – heck many of the mamak stall’s today even serve western food!

The mamak stall’s in JB we’re no different, operations we’re normally carried out on 24 hour basis making it the perfect place for a drunk clubber to sober up before facing the long drive home. I’m glad to say that the mamak’s in KL are no different – offering an overall good service, however there is a thorn that’s giving a bad name to all mamak stalls out there – I’m talking of course about the dreaded mamak stalls in Cyberjaya. (suspense music plays)

To say that the Mamak’s in Cyberjaya offer poor service is an overstatement, the service is horrible. It’s enough to put you off mamak food forever, to shudder at every mamak stall you see – to turn you into a vegetarian! (not exactly a bad thing). There are about four mamak stalls in Cyberjaya, and every single one of them aims to compete with one-another to provide you with the worst service ever. 

You might be wondering exactly how I know that these stalls suck as much Paris Hilton (double meaning) it’s easy really – I work in Cyberjaya, and since I’m not privileged to eat at Secret Recipe and the Food Courts don’t cater to work schedules  of shifters- I’m forced (like it or starve) to eat at these mamaks. Let me give you a break down on the mamak stalls in-case you decide to give Cyberjaya a visit anytime soon:

Hassan’s Mamak:The service at Hassan’s is not that bad, waiters do come over to get your order and the food doesn’t take to long to arrive – the bad part? Hassan’s has one of the worst prices for mamak food ever and yes – they charge government tax! (wtf right?).  If you enjoy paying RM2.20 for your Milo Ais then Hassan’s is the place for you.

Tip: I tried this and it works! To get a cheaper cup of Milo Ais at Hassan’s just order Milo Tarik (RM1.30) one it has arrived, ask for “Cawan filled with Ais-Kosong” (RM0.30) then just pour your milo into the cup and tadaa – Milo Ais for just RM1.60 – now that’s a saving for RM0.60. (Also applies for Teh Ais) .

MMU Mamak(I forgot the name) – This mamak is located just opposite MMU and is practically filled with foreign students from MMU and Lim Kok Wing. It’s very busy at night and parking is a nightmare. This mamak by far offers the worst service in terms of food delivery – and food. They have a menu filled with over 30 choices in reality only offers 5. Every time I order a god-damn burger it takes them almost 1 hour (I kid you not!) to bring it. The mamak’s also try to avoid eye contact when you’re trying to wave them to make an order. Price is ok but don’t visit this place unless the two other mamak’s are closed or you have a thing for watching foreign students.

Rahim’s Mamak:Funny enough, this mamak closes at 12midnight – heck isn’t that the time most mamaks should be opening for good business? Go figure. The mamak’s at Rahim take equally as long to bring you the food you ordered – and  there’s a 50/50 chance – they’ll get the order screwed up. (Proof in point: I ordered Nasi Goreng, Tak nak sayur and tak nak pedas and I got Nasi Goreng, Tambah Sayur and Tambah Pedas).

Colorful Building Mamak (a.k.a Lego Building Mamak)- This mamak opens till 6pm from morning onwards and provides a kind of food court / mamak stall service. Service is not a problem as there is no waiter service – you order your food and wait till it’s in your hand, food taste was pretty good but then I realized that it had a frequent unwelcome guess – cockroaches! Not the big bad beetleborgs type but the small ones you find in your nasi briyani – whoops i’ve said to much.

So with so much bad service from these shame-full mamaks why are they still thriving in business? Simple answer: We need them and they know it. Good food outlets are as hard to find as a honest Datuk in Cyberjaya. Somehow, no one has managed to get a license to open a McD or KFC in this area (i’m guessing there must be a really stupid reason as to why) so the working folks and students alike have no where else to turn too but these mamaks. Try putting any one of these stalls in the middle of Bangsar and they’ll be closed down in a week.

I don’t have a problem with mamak’s in general, just those that are in Cyberjaya. I understand that you can’t expect a 5-star service from these places, but that doesn’t mean that the service has to be bad either, if their counterparts at KL and PJ are able to do it, why can’t they? I understand and respect that many mamak’s are fast and efficient and friendly. They work long hours, and learn to pick up the Malay language in a faster time then it will take a Peralihan kid too.

Let’s just hope and pray till the day Ronald McDonald and Colonel Sanders decides to save us all…

 

Kelly Tan E Li, Will You Please Remove This Billboard?

It’s bad enough being single on Valentine’s Day, but then this joker had to rub it in with this enormous in your face sign board:

I spotted this “unique” wedding proposal / a.k.a must have spent a lot of money on this huge billboard on the way to work on the LDP. At first it brought a smile to my face – what a sweet thing to do right?  Propose to your sweet heart on billboard on Vday itself – oh how romantic!But that smile was instantly wiped off my face when I realized that with all the staring that LDP road user’s we’re giving the billboard, a jam was starting to form – curse you Kelly Tan E Li’s boyfriend (soon to be fiance).

Kelly Tan E Li: I’m sorry I had to include your name in the curse directed to your boyfriend but the romantic genius didn’t include his name on the billboard – I had to make a compromise (maybe the extra lettering was over his budget?).

I was positive the newspapers we’re going to have a field day with this tomorrow – it was probably going to be plastered all over the front page, after all aren’t our local papers known to only carry the most important (uncontroversial) news? You really can’t blame them for not giving a wider coverage on the Bersih rally or Hindraf assembly – what’s 40 thousand people in the streets compared to one nerdy looking fellow on a striking white billboard?

True enough, the next day The Star and The Sun carried out the news just as expected – on the front page. I’m pretty sure The Moon would have carried out an article too, but was informed that the publication doesn’t exist.

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff237/stevengiveaway/kelly-tan-e-li-will-you-marry-me.jpg

 

I learnt that Kelly’s boyfriend / fiance / guy who posted big proposal on the billboard is actually working in a advertising firm (this reduces his romantic points by -1) and that he comes from quite a rich family (-1 again) I guess when you’re rich – you don’t even have to say those magic words from your mouth. Let the signboard do the talking David say’s.

Like all fairytales, Kelly said yes – did she really have a choice?  Only God knows what went through her head when she saw that giant signboard with her name, surname and family name staring down at her. She must have gone “Wtf – kena caught liao” or “Damn it – No wonder he asked for my full name on the IC yesterday”.

So basically everything turned out happily ever after with one big problem. David says he rented the space for about RM40,000 (cough: loser) for a whole month. However I realized that even after March 14th (a date I marked on my calendar as the removal of that jam-causing sign board) the sign board still stayed put. What happend? Wasn’t one month of torture enough?

It’s almost May now – I still see David’s smiling face and those large words plastered on the billboard every single day that I travel to work. No act of nature, and no force of God has managed to take the blastered thing off. I’ve also realized that signboard now comes complete with a logo of a Diamond company – almost making the whole proposal look like a pre-planned act. David you smart-ass business man – it look’s like you’ve got your 40k back from the poor company that actually decided to buy your add. I cant take anymore of it – if I still see this signboard for another month, i’m spending my life savings of RM 40.00 to hire some daring hooligans to vandalize the signboard to the following: